She is in my trunk
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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