I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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