Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
