Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Help me help you realize you are a moron
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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