i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
