Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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