If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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