She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i just google imaged poop.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
