Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
