matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
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I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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