Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
