If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
