I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
