just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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