Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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