sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
