The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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