Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
