smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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