Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize