I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
