i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
