her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm always down for nudity.
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