He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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