I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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