You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
