Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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