Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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