ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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