I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
