Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
