ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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