I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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