let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize