normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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