yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
