shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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