Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
