A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
