Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I need moral support for this bender
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
