its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
