Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
