Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
