he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
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I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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