we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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