And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
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For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
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I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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