mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
