he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
