just come out here and I will go home with you...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
