You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
