I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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