1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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