margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
