I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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