Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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