Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
