She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize