what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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