There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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