dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
