seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
