Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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